Your Story Can Change at Any Moment…

No one tells you how quick the post uni depression hits. As soon as you graduate people are asking you, what are you doing next? Oh how I wish I had the answer.

Things have not gone smoothly for me I have to admit. My last two years of uni were full of obstructions that I honestly didn’t think I was even going to graduate the way things were going. Study engineering they said. You’ll find a job easily they said. I’m here to tell you that is very incorrect. As I’m writing this I am currently still on the search for one and have had a mountain of rejections that have made me question everything. I’ve questioned my my worth, the strengths I thought I had and even God.

It’s times like this that can have you feeling like there is no way out of your situation. Feeling like you can’t see light at the end of the tunnel. A sense of hopelessness and just feeling like there is no point and I should just quit while I’m ahead. But if you’re like me you’ve probably been in situations like this many of times, but nevertheless you still need this reminder:

Your Story Can Change at ANY Moment

I know it’s hard but you have to keep showing up. One of the only upsides Twitter is you can really see how someone’s circumstances can change in a moment and I’m sure they didn’t wake up thinking it would happen that day. I often refer to this image:

This image has gotten me through a lot in my life. Life often feels like a long tunnel where we’re just waiting for everything to click and make sense. There’s always that uncertainty of whether the path we’re on is the right one and whether everything will fall into place. This image reminds me why I have to keep going. I haven’t gotten to the place where everything makes sense or where I see why everything happened the way it did. But I know I will get there if I keep going.

Gods favour is in EVERY environment!

Did you know that Joseph being in prison showed Gods favour in his life? The punishment for Joseph’s alleged crime in those times was death. So the fact that he was even in prison was a sign that God was working!! To the outside world and maybe even to Joseph this it May have looked like God abandoned him but it was actually a testament to the fact God had a plan for all the trials that Jospeh went through.

Changing your perspective: you are in the best place for a miracle!!

If you read my blog posts a lot you’ll know how important changing your perspective is. When I’m in these seasons of uncertainty my favourite thing to say to myself is I’m in the best place for a miracle!! God does amazing things when it feels like there’s no way out! I find comfort in knowing that in uncertain seasons the end testimony will be sweet!

Isaiah 43:19 says: “Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”

Use this as an opportunity to strengthen your faith; increase your discipline and perseverance; and learn how to praise God when things are hard!

So hang in there! You will get through this season your moment of breakthrough is coming!

With love always,

Temi xx

“When it Feels Too Late to Start”

Firstly, I hope everyone is staying safe in light of recent events. If you’re like me you’ve probably spent more time on social media than usual and I’m sure you’ve seen this one: 

 

Let me start by saying that I don’t 100% agree with this. Yes, if you have the time to do new things do it! But not at the expense of your mental health. Pls it’s a pandemic not a contest. 

It feels like social media has been saturated with everyone showcasing their talents. Suddenly everyone is a baker! Everyone is a make-up artist. Now everyone is a personal trainer. Maybe you’ve had an idea for a while but it feels like now isn’t the time because everyone seems to be doing it? I don’t know if it’s just me who has felt intimidated to show things I’ve been working on, in fear of getting lost in the crowd?  

Some encouragement if you feel like you’ve arrived to the party late: 

It’s Not a Race.

Something I learnt from the Netflix show: “Self Made: inspired by the life of madam CJ Walker” it’s not always about who did it first, it’s about who did it best. This helps me when I start comparing myself to others. Just because I am not the first baker does not mean I can’t be the best. This does not mean I compete with others, but it means I don’t take myself out of the running purely because I started late. Or because someone else had the same idea. Produce the best quality YOU can, and let that speak for itself.

 

No One Can Do It Like You.

God has made us all unique and individual. Embrace that! it doesn’t matter if 100 people have gone before you. No one is going to do it like you. The way you think is different. The way you approach things are different. The set of people you influence is going to be different. There is a target audience that is meant for you. Take the time to develop your point of view. It’s important, it matters and that’s what will make you different from everyone else.

 

Stop Comparing Yourself!

When you’re looking up to someone, don’t skip the journey that got them there. One thing I like to do, is scroll down to someone’s first few Instagram post (especially bakers), a lot of the time you’ll see they were just like you. You can’t compare your starting point to someone’s middle or even end! Have the confidence to start and learn on the way! Consistency is key!

With love, Temi xx

HOW I LOVE MYSELF, WHEN I DON’T LIKE MYSELF…

I have battled with the idea of self-love for a while, especially in this whole body confidence era, I didn’t understand why I had to love myself and “be happy” at the size I was, when I knew self-discipline was what was holding me back. These days we are told to love everything about ourselves and who we are is who we are, but I didn’t understand why I had to force this idea that I love who I am when I knew there were things I clearly didn’t like about myself, some of which I could change and some that I was stuck with.

I thought about how God loves us, no matter what we do but still calls us to be better. How we are God’s children who he love unconditionally but you can also be his friend too. How Jesus loved us so much that he died for us, but still got angry when we committed sin.

What if self-love does not have to be an all or nothing approach? What if I could love myself, without necessarily liking everything about myself?

Self-Love is the unconditional way you treat yourself.

Self-Like is the response which is relative to where you are in your life, and will always change!

 

“I love who I am but I don’t like the way I look“

You are not always going to like what you see in the mirror, and I don’t think it’s realistic to pretend you will. But what you can control is how you treat yourself during those periods. Make a conscience effort to be kind to yourself no matter what. Love lets us focus on what we do have.

It sounds cliché, but you need to realise your identity and what you have to offer the world is way more than what you look like. Your worth is much deeper than that. If it’s something you can change, love yourself enough to achieve it through discipline, if it is how you were made, love yourself enough to know that your worth is not decreased by your imperfections.

I have felt such freedom, in being able to look in the mirror and show myself love by being kind to myself regardless of whether I like what I see.

I love who am but I don’t like what I do. 

We all make mistakes and we can all recognize there are things we do that do not allow us to be the best we can be. Recognising this dislike allows us to know where we need to change. Self-love gives us the protection that even if we fail at what we have challenged ourselves to overcome, we can love ourselves enough to try again, because love wants the best for us. Love gives us another try. Love builds us up.

“I love who I am but I don’t like where I am”

Not every season in life makes us feel good. But we love ourselves enough to push through and keep going. Emotions based on what season you are in is not your identity. Angry is not who you are. Doubtful is not who you are. These are all responses to your environment that you can change. For example, on a healthy lifestyle journey when you don’t see results straight away you can still love yourself by knowing (and telling yourself) that your identity is much more than what you look like physically and show love regardless by disciplining myself and not giving up.

We do not need to have an all or nothing approach. You can love yourself without liking everything about yourself because love is much deeper than that. What you like about yourself will change. How you treat yourself shouldn’t.

With Love,

Temi xx

 

Between the Before and After Picture…

Do you ever get lost in transformations pictures? Like you’re really happy for the person but you’re just really wishing it could be that simple for you? “I lost 50pounds in 3 months!” “I just ate healthy and exercised and voila!” You look at their before and after weight loss pictures and just hope if you close your eyes long enough that maybe just maybe it will magically happen to you? 

I posted my weight loss “transformation” 2 years ago. I would have loved to say that all the weight stayed off and life was smooth sailing after that. I really thought that’s what would happen. I thought once I lost weight all my problems will be solved. I would look good and feel good but after a recent weight gain, I was just full of resentment towards myself. I found myself looking at other people’s weight loss transformation pictures more and more and I just didn’t understand why couldn’t it be that simple for me? Why didn’t I reach my goal? Why is it taking me so long to get it together? 

I realised that so much gets lost in between the before and after picture. Even in my own. You don’t see the amount of times that person quit. You don’t see the days they fell off. You don’t see the amount of times they tried to lose weight before they were successful. You don’t see what lies ahead for them. 

If you’re struggling on your weightloss journey right now I want you to know you’re not alone. It’s not easy for everyone. Maybe you’re not like the others who get it together in 3months or 6 months or even a year. And so what? Stop comparing yourself to others. You are more than what you look like on the outside. You’re so much deeper than that. Just keep showing up everyday. Strive to reach your goals. You’ll get it right most days and some days won’t be perfect. And that’s okay. If weight loss has taught me anything it’s how important it is to forgive yourself! 

Although I’m not where I want to be, I’m not who I used to be. I’m learning to be okay with that and celebrate the small victories along the way, while I get to the large milestones! 

If you need support in your weightloss journey feel free to message me I would love to help! 

With love always,

Temi xx

CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE: THE GOD ANGLE

 

Recently I got the chance to visit Dubai. While at the top of Burj Khalifa it was amazing to see how small everything became, simply from being higher up. I couldn’t help but wonder is this how God must feel looking down at us. Things that were so large when on the ground suddenly become so small and looked so meaningless. A car that’s bigger than me suddenly looked like a toy:

Imagine how the things we describe as problems must look to God. It must be so frustrating to see us worry over such small things simply because we cannot see the perspective God is looking at us from.

Imagine if we could change our perspective from a human understanding and comprehension and move a bit higher up to a God angle.

From human view, all we can see is what is in front of us and what we have left behind. However, from God’s view he can see what we can become.

If we could see the victory that lies ahead, I am sure just like God it would be easier for us to move on from our mistakes and not to get discouraged by our imperfections because from Gods angle it has no comparison to what we can become.

We all have a tendency to go back go to a place of comfort and stagnancy. Simply because our view is restricted.  Just take the Israelites. At a point they believed it would have been easier to remain in bondage all because they could not see where God was taking them.

What if we could look beyond where we are now and just believe that God is taking us somewhere beyond our imagination.

A few things I have learned:

Our feelings do not always match the reality of the situation. If we put too much trust in our feelings to guide us, it may cause us to make irrational decisions. Taking a step back to actually analyse the situation may result in us taking a different approach.

One thing about this life is that every event, situation and period in our life produces an opportunity for us to learn and evolve. Instead of focusing on the negative side of difficult situations, change your perspective to see what you could possibly learn from it.

Change your perspective from always focusing on your limitations and start focusing on your potential.

If you’re always focusing on what you can’t do, you’ll never discover what you were born to do.

It’s time to start seeing things how God sees things.

With love always,

Temi xx

 

THE POWER of a little

As you may or may not have noticed, I haven’t posted in a while. To keep it very real, I honestly felt like I couldn’t. I felt as though I was unqualified to do so. How can I be advising others when I haven’t got my life together? This self-doubt mentally paralysed me. Until I realised the power of a little. If we keep waiting until were “perfect” or at that stage where everything feels 100% right, we will never achieve anything.

A common misconception is that before we can embark on something new we must have everything we need. But that’s just not the case. To get anywhere requires a journey and that journey starts with a step. Along that journey is where we acquire what we need on the way.

Everything that grows starts with a seed. Never judge a seed by its size. You don’t always see the potential that in the seed you are carrying, but don’t let self-doubt stop you from sowing it anyway.

Don’t let self-doubt be a barrier, let it be a reminder that you need God.

 When Moses asked God, “what makes me good enough?” God’s reply was “I will be with you” (Exodus 3).

Our strength is not in our ability but in the one who has sent us.

We cannot allow our perceived limitations stop us from even trying to get more out of this life. You already know the outcome of not believing so why not give believing a try?I’m the type of person who can be so scared of making the wrong move that I find it easier to not make any at all. And I’m sure I am not the only one.

But it’s time to get rid of the pressure of trying to design your life, when God has already designed one for you.

Your job isn’t to create your own purpose but to allow God to lead you to the one he has created.

Unlike us, he doesn’t make mistakes.

 So if things aren’t going the way you’ve planned maybe to its time to ask God what he has planned. God does not expect us to do extraordinary things on our own that would defeat the purpose of needing him.

Our big dreams can be overwhelming and appear impossible. So instead of focusing on the big dream, lets focus on having a little courage to make that first step, a little faith (approximately the size of a mustard seed) in God, and a little belief that our best is good enough because our strength lies in God.

Is there something you wanted to do but felt unqualified to be doing? Let’s get out of the “I only have” mentality and start something great today!

With love always,

Temi xx

THE SELF LOVE DECISION – WHAT IT ACTUALLY MEANS

 

This year I decided to go on a self-love journey. I wanted to really love myself finally. 

To want to love yourself and to actually love yourself are two different things, I always had the intent but didn’t really know how to execute it.

After praying to God about this one day I stood in front of the mirror – like okay God! Time to love myself! any minute now! As you can imagine I didn’t feel any different. So I knew something was wrong.

So I decided to change tactics. I read the famous Corinthians 13 and watched a few sermons. Which was when I had realised I had got it all wrong. I had completely miss understood what love was. I had reduced love to just an emotion, a tingling feeling in my body. For my whole life I had been waiting for an feeling of love. Not realising that love is way more than that.

Love is a conscious decision/demonstration, where conscious actions are made. To reduce love to just a feeling would be to massively underestimate its power, purpose and capability. It would reduce it to a temporary thing.

You can literally decide to love yourself. All this time I had been waiting for an emotion without realising that it was my actions towards myself that needed to change.

Making the decision to love yourself is easy, its the living in that decison that takes work.

Once you make that decision you need to:

1. Protect that decision: Maybe there are things you need to stop doing that make you lose confidence in that decision (for example social media) or things you need to start doing that grow your confidence in that decision. 
2. Trust that decision: Know that the love you are giving you are giving yourself isn’t what you feel at that time but what you know. 
3. Hope in that decision: Have hope that the decision you’ve made to love yourself will change your negative perspective of life to positive.
4. Persevere in that decision: In a world that tells you to compare yourself to others and makes you feel inadequate, you have to persevere and go against the norm in the decision you’ve made to know that you are good enough.

Once you fully master how to show love to yourself, you will be able to successfully reciprocate this unto other people.

I would encourage you to read 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 make notes on how you can demonstrate love to God and to yourself. Also I have attached this video by transformation church that really helped me understand these concepts too!

With love always,

Temi xx

 

 

THIS THING CALLED LOVE: Grasping God’s Love

To reduce love to just an emotion would be to completely underestimate its power, purpose and capabilities.

When we think of love we automatically think of an emotion or feeling. But if we look at the definition of an emotion and feeling:

“A strong feeling deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.”

“An emotional state or reaction”

This shows that emotions are dependent. Therefore they are temporary. They can be easily swayed or altered by circumstances, people or your environment. There is no way that these definitions can sum up the way God loves us. Think about all the times we are unfaithful and disobedient to God. Surely if love was based on this there is no way we would have any chance of salvation.

The love God has for us has to be more than this. It has to mean more than this.  It can’t be just an emotion. The emotion would not have the power or the capacity to save us no matter what we’ve gone through or done.

There are some things we need to understand about God’s love that are omitted if we just see love as an emotion:

• Nothing can separate us from God’s love

“ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

Literally nothing can separate us from God’s love. God’s love isn’t based on circumstances, there is nothing you can do that will separate you from God’s love. We need to remember this in situations. God doesn’t love like the world teaches us to love. No good thing or bad thing can make him love you anymore or any less.

There is a common misconception of how sin affects our relationship with God.

The consequence of Sin is not a reduction of God’s love but it is a reduction of God’s presence.

When you move away from God’s presence this removes you from his light. When you are away from God’s light you allow darkness in. Darkness invites shame and guilt which invites more darkness. If you understand that God still loves you no matter what, you will find it easier to come back to him because you know that you are coming back to a loving God.

• Perfect love casts out all fear:

One thing that prevents us from coming back to God is because we don’t understand his love. If we don’t know that we are coming back to a loving God, we can be afraid to come back out of fear of condemnation, being judged etc. But if we truly understand and accept God’s love in our life we will know that:

“Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.’

1 John 4:18

I’m not sure if we could ever understand the capacity of God’s love. Sometimes I wonder how God could love me so much. I’m sure I’m not the only one. But I think we need to stop questioning why we are worthy and just trust and believe God’s word that tells us we are worthy.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”

Mark 12:30-31

There must be a reason why Jesus said out of all the commandments this was the greatest one. There must be a great power in loving God.

I would encourage you to read 1 John 4. Once we understand God’s love we can begin to reciprocate this onto ourselves and onto others which is the next greatest commandments that Jesus told us about. I will be covering these later on.

If you would like to discuss any of these further, feel free to send me a message!

With love always,

Temi xx

NO MORE WAITING FOR MR/MRS RIGHT…

You are not an afterthought. You are not there to serve someone as it pleases them. You are not there for when someone gets bored.

Why do we allow ourselves to be treated as such?

It is not worth losing part of yourself to accommodate someone else. You do not need to shrink back, so that someone else can fit. They can never complete you. Your DNA is not theirs. They can never fill up where you have lost yourself because they are not you.

And how many times have you said “One day I’ll find someone that treats me better”

Let’s take back control.

It’s not about waiting for someone to treat you better. Let’s stop relying on others to validate ourselves. We are always shifting our worth from one person’s opinion to the next. We need to stop giving other people the power to judge the way they think we should be treated but how you believe you should be treated. Do not believe you have to accept everything you are offered.

Instead of waiting for Mr/Mrs right to show us how to be treated; Let’s start focusing on how we are treating ourselves. We need to start setting new standards in our lives. Not just in relationships but in every aspect of our lives.

If you don’t give yourself the best you can’t expect anyone to else simply because you don’t know how it feels to be given the best. if we only accept the best from ourselves FIRST, it will be harder to accept anything less from others. This might be working out because you deserve to have the best body you can get. Putting in effort in your education because you deserve the best grade. It will be very hard to accept just anyone into your life when you uphold yourself to a high standard.

It’s so easy to settle when we meet a person, we think “well I don’t know when the next person will come along’. Low self-worth allows us to believe that we need to take what we can get. But regardless of  whether or not someone comes into your life, it’s important that you feel secure enough within yourself because you know how to give yourself the best. A person should never be a competition but only ever be an addition to your life.

It’s time to evaluate. Have you been giving yourself the best? Is this reflecting in your past and present relationships?

With love always

Temi xx

 

SUNDAY CHRISTIAN SYNDROME

 

You go to church, you sing the songs but you don’t really feel a connection? Christianity is starting to feel less like a relationship and more like a religion. You dust off your bible from 10-12pm for church but then it’s back in the closet until next week. You want to do better, you really do. But there is always something that gets in the way of you spending time with God. You might be suffering from Sunday Christian Syndrome.

It’s almost as if having a relationship with God is easier when you’re going through a stormy season. It’s easier to make sure you are always praying and staying close to him when he is all you have to cling on to. But then the storm is over and you feel yourself slowly drifting away, making less time.

 “IF GOD FEELS DISTANT … ASK WHO MOVED”

 We are so quick to ask God where he is, but what we fail to realise is that God has never moved. His only concern has ever been us. He has always wanted the best for us. Nothing is able to take his mind off of us. But can we say the same? Or have concerns of money, jobs and other distractions taken your mind off of God?

‘If a tree fell in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?’

When you are far away from God, it is hard to feel the benefits of his love. It will feel as though he is not there at all when in actually fact you are just too far away to feel it!

Sometimes after passing through a storm it’s like we tell God: ‘It’s alright I can take it from here” through our actions. He becomes less of a priority and more of an after-thought. Any relationship requires effort whether things are good or bad. We need to remember that we need God in the small details of our lives just as much as during the big storms of our lives. The closer we stay to God during the calmer seasons, the easier it will be to hold on to him during the storm.

‘’I will keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand I will not be shaken.”

– Psalm 16:8-

By keeping God at your right hand you can never be shaken by the storm because he becomes your first contact for help, rather than your last resort.

Remember that there is no right way to have a relationship with God, but when your relationship with God is beginning to feel like a religion, shake the Sunday Christian Syndrome by taking a step back and analysing Gods position in your life.

With love always,

Temi xx