HOW I LOVE MYSELF, WHEN I DON’T LIKE MYSELF…

I have battled with the idea of self-love for a while, especially in this whole body confidence era, I didn’t understand why I had to love myself and “be happy” at the size I was, when I knew self-discipline was what was holding me back. These days we are told to love everything about ourselves and who we are is who we are, but I didn’t understand why I had to force this idea that I love who I am when I knew there were things I clearly didn’t like about myself, some of which I could change and some that I was stuck with.

I thought about how God loves us, no matter what we do but still calls us to be better. How we are God’s children who he love unconditionally but you can also be his friend too. How Jesus loved us so much that he died for us, but still got angry when we committed sin.

What if self-love does not have to be an all or nothing approach? What if I could love myself, without necessarily liking everything about myself?

Self-Love is the unconditional way you treat yourself.

Self-Like is the response which is relative to where you are in your life, and will always change!

 

“I love who I am but I don’t like the way I look“

You are not always going to like what you see in the mirror, and I don’t think it’s realistic to pretend you will. But what you can control is how you treat yourself during those periods. Make a conscience effort to be kind to yourself no matter what. Love lets us focus on what we do have.

It sounds cliché, but you need to realise your identity and what you have to offer the world is way more than what you look like. Your worth is much deeper than that. If it’s something you can change, love yourself enough to achieve it through discipline, if it is how you were made, love yourself enough to know that your worth is not decreased by your imperfections.

I have felt such freedom, in being able to look in the mirror and show myself love by being kind to myself regardless of whether I like what I see.

I love who am but I don’t like what I do. 

We all make mistakes and we can all recognize there are things we do that do not allow us to be the best we can be. Recognising this dislike allows us to know where we need to change. Self-love gives us the protection that even if we fail at what we have challenged ourselves to overcome, we can love ourselves enough to try again, because love wants the best for us. Love gives us another try. Love builds us up.

“I love who I am but I don’t like where I am”

Not every season in life makes us feel good. But we love ourselves enough to push through and keep going. Emotions based on what season you are in is not your identity. Angry is not who you are. Doubtful is not who you are. These are all responses to your environment that you can change. For example, on a healthy lifestyle journey when you don’t see results straight away you can still love yourself by knowing (and telling yourself) that your identity is much more than what you look like physically and show love regardless by disciplining myself and not giving up.

We do not need to have an all or nothing approach. You can love yourself without liking everything about yourself because love is much deeper than that. What you like about yourself will change. How you treat yourself shouldn’t.

With Love,

Temi xx