THE POWER of a little

As you may or may not have noticed, I haven’t posted in a while. To keep it very real, I honestly felt like I couldn’t. I felt as though I was unqualified to do so. How can I be advising others when I haven’t got my life together? This self-doubt mentally paralysed me. Until I realised the power of a little. If we keep waiting until were “perfect” or at that stage where everything feels 100% right, we will never achieve anything.

A common misconception is that before we can embark on something new we must have everything we need. But that’s just not the case. To get anywhere requires a journey and that journey starts with a step. Along that journey is where we acquire what we need on the way.

Everything that grows starts with a seed. Never judge a seed by its size. You don’t always see the potential that in the seed you are carrying, but don’t let self-doubt stop you from sowing it anyway.

Don’t let self-doubt be a barrier, let it be a reminder that you need God.

 When Moses asked God, “what makes me good enough?” God’s reply was “I will be with you” (Exodus 3).

Our strength is not in our ability but in the one who has sent us.

We cannot allow our perceived limitations stop us from even trying to get more out of this life. You already know the outcome of not believing so why not give believing a try?I’m the type of person who can be so scared of making the wrong move that I find it easier to not make any at all. And I’m sure I am not the only one.

But it’s time to get rid of the pressure of trying to design your life, when God has already designed one for you.

Your job isn’t to create your own purpose but to allow God to lead you to the one he has created.

Unlike us, he doesn’t make mistakes.

 So if things aren’t going the way you’ve planned maybe to its time to ask God what he has planned. God does not expect us to do extraordinary things on our own that would defeat the purpose of needing him.

Our big dreams can be overwhelming and appear impossible. So instead of focusing on the big dream, lets focus on having a little courage to make that first step, a little faith (approximately the size of a mustard seed) in God, and a little belief that our best is good enough because our strength lies in God.

Is there something you wanted to do but felt unqualified to be doing? Let’s get out of the “I only have” mentality and start something great today!

With love always,

Temi xx

NO MORE WAITING FOR MR/MRS RIGHT…

You are not an afterthought. You are not there to serve someone as it pleases them. You are not there for when someone gets bored.

Why do we allow ourselves to be treated as such?

It is not worth losing part of yourself to accommodate someone else. You do not need to shrink back, so that someone else can fit. They can never complete you. Your DNA is not theirs. They can never fill up where you have lost yourself because they are not you.

And how many times have you said “One day I’ll find someone that treats me better”

Let’s take back control.

It’s not about waiting for someone to treat you better. Let’s stop relying on others to validate ourselves. We are always shifting our worth from one person’s opinion to the next. We need to stop giving other people the power to judge the way they think we should be treated but how you believe you should be treated. Do not believe you have to accept everything you are offered.

Instead of waiting for Mr/Mrs right to show us how to be treated; Let’s start focusing on how we are treating ourselves. We need to start setting new standards in our lives. Not just in relationships but in every aspect of our lives.

If you don’t give yourself the best you can’t expect anyone to else simply because you don’t know how it feels to be given the best. if we only accept the best from ourselves FIRST, it will be harder to accept anything less from others. This might be working out because you deserve to have the best body you can get. Putting in effort in your education because you deserve the best grade. It will be very hard to accept just anyone into your life when you uphold yourself to a high standard.

It’s so easy to settle when we meet a person, we think “well I don’t know when the next person will come along’. Low self-worth allows us to believe that we need to take what we can get. But regardless of  whether or not someone comes into your life, it’s important that you feel secure enough within yourself because you know how to give yourself the best. A person should never be a competition but only ever be an addition to your life.

It’s time to evaluate. Have you been giving yourself the best? Is this reflecting in your past and present relationships?

With love always

Temi xx

 

OCTOBER: THE MIND RESET

Hi everyone,

I hope you all had a blessed September. For me September was all about doing better. By doing so, I was able to realise how much the mind and how we think has an affect on the outcome of our behaviour. I was able to see that doing better involved changing the way I think.

I realised how many unhealthy beliefs I had, I constantly tell myself I am not good enough, smart enough even pretty enough. All of these beliefs have not allowed me to reach my full potential and I know I am not the only one.

Have you ever wondered why you believe what you do? Why do we believe the sky is blue? why do we believe red is red and 1+1 is 2? It’s because:

• We have been told by a credible source;
• The process of repetition.

Thats why my focus for October is about reprogramming the mind by challenging the negative self-beliefs I have so that they reflect what I want to achieve this year. Its going to require me to:

• Believe a credible source – Listening to what God says about me
• Use the process of repetition: Using positive affirmations everyday until I believe it

I encourage you to challenge you negative self-beliefs with these tools, and see what you end up achieving. If you decide to have the same focus as me or come up with your own do let me know!

With love always,

Temi xx

SEPTEMBER: THE MONTH OF DOING BETTER

Hey everyone,

I believe there is something so important in acknowledging new beginnings, whether that be the beginning of the day, month or year. I am a strong believer in starting how you mean to finish and failing to plan is planning to fail. Because of this, I like to acknowledge every new beginning in my life by setting goals and expectations for the new period ahead.

An idea that I adapted from my church is setting a theme/focus for each new month. I have been doing this for a while now, but I’ve decided that every month I will share my theme/focus of the month on here.

SEPTEMBER: DOING BETTER

Personally I feel that in certain areas of my life, I have not been the best version of myself nor have a strived to be. In my last post I shared how important it is to grow from mistakes and how we need to focus on doing better rather than just knowing better. So this September I really want to act on this and form new habits.

I encourage you to try setting a focus/theme for this month, and actively use September  as a chance to grow. If you decide to have the same focus as me or come up with your own do share them with me!

With love always,

Temi xx

HAVE YOU LEARNT YOUR LESSON?

Do you ever feel like sometimes life is just passing you by? Like everyone around you is moving forward, but your life is at a standstill? You know you could be better, you could do better, but it feels as though you keep hitting the same walls but in different ways?

What God made me to realise is that we are at fault and are preventing our own growth. We are consumed by the distractions of life that we don’t acknowledge the destructive behaviours that our holding us back.

The same problem will keep reoccurring in different ways until the lesson is learnt. In order for that lesson to be learnt something about your behaviour must change. Majority of us can acknowledge when we have made a mistake but how many of us can say we have actually made changes to our behaviour to prevent it from happening again?

GROWTH IS NOT KNOWING BETTER BUT DOING BETTER.

 We need to take the time to evaluate ourselves and the habits that may be preventing you from moving forward. God will not take you to the next level if you are not ready. Sometimes we are so disconnected from life spiritually that we don’t even realise that we have been in the same spot for too long.

Time is the most precious thing on this Earth. It cannot be duplicated, bought or sold. It is more valuable than money. So how are you using your time? Take a look at how you’ve spent your day for example. Have you used it to invest in yourself? Or have you spent it all on social media investing in others? As much as God is in control, we need to take responsibility for our own growth.

We need to be evolving all the time to keep moving to the next level. We need to constantly be evaluating our behaviours to see if they are preventing or promoting growth. For example, over the last two weeks I decided to dedicate 30mins each morning to reading. I realised that if I can spend 1 hour watching Love and Hip Hop that is adding nothing to my life and possibly even reducing my IQ, I can spend 30minutes reading something to impact my life positively.

If you look back over your life, and your challenges and bad experiences have not changed you in a positive way, then you run the risk of experiencing them again until something about you has changed.

If we do not engage with the lessons God is trying to teach us through the challenges of our lives, then we will never move forward.

There is so much we can do to be better yet we spend so much time on things that aren’t helping us to be better. Do not underestimate the power of making small changes each day. Every investment you make in yourself is never wasted.

As always, with love,

Temi xx

YOU ARE VALUABLE

To be valuable:

To have qualities worthy of respect, admiration, or esteem.

When you are valuable:

-Many see, but cannot attain;

– Some go above their means to attain;

– Only few can attain.

Many see, but cannot attain: When you have value you will not be attainable to everyone. When I was younger I used to quantify my worth by how much attention I got. But what I failed to realise is that when you are of high value, you become intimidating and not everyone has access to you. Attention is not a reflection of your worth. God is not going to reveal how valuable you are to everyone, so do not devalue yourself in order to become attainable to the masses.

Some go above their means to attain: These are probably the most dangerous ones. They know they do not deserve you, but when you do not know your worth they are able to get what they do not deserve. They may present themselves as worthy, but this image/lifestyle that they cannot sustain. This becomes apparent with time. Not everyone that gives you attention or shows interest deserves you.

Only a few can attain: To be able differentiate between these and the ones that go above their means takes patience and discernment from God. These people see your true worth and never make you feel less than that. They are not intimidated by your greatness but inspired by it.

You have to be careful of who you give yourself to. No matter how good their intentions may seem, not everyone deserves to know every part of you. You do not want to be left feeling robbed because you did not know your value.

This is not just focusing on relationships, but this can be applied to anything you have to offer. For example your craft, or your time etc. Don’t let people take advantage. Humans are opportunists. But think about it, if you could get something good for cheaper than it should be, why wouldn’t you?

One of the most important relationships you will ever have is the one you have with yourself however this is one of the most neglected. I urge you to take the time necessary to really begin to appreciate yourself and understand that you are valuable.

Know that you are beautiful in spite of what the world says.

Know that you are wonderfully and fearfully made.

Know that God has said that you are valuable, it is up to you whether you choose to accept it.

ARE YOU WILLING TO GIVE UP THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS – FOR THE MAN OF GOD’S PLAN?

The man of our dreams is perfect and can do no wrong and has been idolised in our mind. Whereas the man of God’s plan lacks perfection, but is perfect in purpose.

The man of our dreams has been created by us. It is not a mystery why women upon entering relationships find themselves trying to mould and change the person they are with.

Are you too focused on your fantasy that you are ignoring what God has planned for you?

This is not to say that you shouldn’t have standards, but are your standards based on vanity or on God’s guidelines?

The man of your dreams is everything you want whereas the man of Gods plan is everything you need.

When you focus on the man of your dreams you look for what you want rather than what you need. The things that used to be important to YOU now seem so far away. At some point in your life you will experience a time where someone is presented to you that seems so right that it almost feels cruel for them not to have been sent by God.

One of life’s greatest tests is walking away from something you want because you know it’s not what you need.

Sometimes it’s not obvious as the person may tick all the superficial and skin deep boxes and if life was just about getting Instagram likes then this would be enough. But we have to think deeper than that. We have to think long-term. Are you on the same page spiritually? Do they see your weaknesses and build you up? Are they a partner in purpose?

When we shift our focus from things that we need to the things that we want we start making decisions based on emotions.

It’s hard to walk away from seeing everything you want in the flesh because we cannot see beyond what is in front of us. The fear of the unknown begins to strike. What if they are the one? What if I’m making a mistake? I know the bible says this isn’t right but then why would God bring them into my life?

You have to think of the costs of your compromises. Making a compromise is like buying something with a credit card. They allow you to enjoy now but sooner or later you have to pay up. Often, the paying up later hurts more as it leads to regrets and resentment.

God has designed our lives so that we can only take one day at a time. So it’s hard to have faith in what is to come. But we have to remember that God has made a person specifically for us. You won’t have to make costly compromises for this person, as they were made to match you perfectly.

So are you going to give up the man/woman of your dreams for the man/woman of Gods plan?

With love always,

Temi xx

IS GOD SILENT? OR ARE YOU NOT MOVING?

Recently I have been going through a season of feeling unmotivated and just unsatisfied with life. I remember asking God to get me out of it but I didn’t hear anything back from him. Because of this I found myself pulling further away from God and not dedicating as much time as used to for him.

It’s so easy to feel like God is silent in our lives. God is the perfect thing to use as a scapegoat when things aren’t going right.

It wasn’t until I made the effort to go to church last Sunday that I felt a recharge. That’s when I realised the problem was me.

There are periods in our lives where we feel stagnant and unmotivated. It can feel as though we are asking God for help but it is as if our prayers have been ignored.

When this happens you need to realise that it is time to move. It is time to make some sort of change in your life; as your current lifestyle and habits cannot accommodate the next stage of God’s plan for your life.

God isn’t silent he just needs you to meet him halfway. He is more than capable of doing what you asked for, he just requires effort from you. God wants to invest in you but he needs a business plan. He wants to see commitment and drive.

God doesn’t call the able he calls the available. He takes the little we have and multiplies it. A child reaches out when they want to be picked up ad held. God is waiting for us to reach out so he can direct us to our next level.

“In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”

James 2:17 (NIV)

We often are waiting for God to do something supernatural and to watch him physically move mountains to show and prove himself. But sometimes it is us that need to do the moving. We need to take the first step. God has laid promises of blessings and prosperity on us, but we can’t have access to this until we move. When we ask God for things he gives us faith in his abilities. But once we receive this faith it is time for us to move. If we don’t actually take a step and move it is as if we don’t have him at all. Yes, God told you he will do It,  just like he told Joshua the wall of Jericho will fall. But in order for this to be fulfilled Joshua had to march. Yes, David had been empowered to defeat Goliath but in order for this to be fufilled he had to move and physically throw the rock. God takes a simple move and transforms it into something greater.

God is the ‘extra’ and we are the ‘ordinary’. If you want to see the extraordinary in your life you have to do your part.

As always,

With love Temi xx

 

THE PURPOSE BEHIND YOUR PERSONALITY

At my local connect group (a meeting with my church family) we started talking about what are some things that we may miss in ourselves that others may see. It was a beautiful experience that made me realise how subtle the holy spirit can work in us. Recently I have been going through a phase where I had begun to question Gods presence in my life and compare myself to those who had a greater spiritual experiences such as speaking in tongues.

But at connect I realised God likes to work subtly sometimes. Just because you’re not casting out demons, speaking in tongues or walking on water does not mean God is not using you. God is still working through you. There is a purpose to our personality that God wants to use.

It could be as subtle as your gentle spirit, your hospitality, your strength that helped you overcome a struggle.

Often, we are too busy paying to attention to other people looking after their gardens that we don’t notice the seed God has placed in our hands. We are always looking for more rather than appreciating what God has already given us.

We need to trust our walk with God and be more sensitive to our environment and even our personality traits. Reflect on the reasons why you went through what you did how this made you as a person, look at what you are passionate about. These are all things that others could learn from.

We forget that God can use even our personality to change people’s life. Someone needs what you have to offer. For example, your caring nature may seem insignificant to you but it’s that same nature that could potentially be a light in someone’s life who really needs it.

It can be hard trying to discover our purpose, as some are not as easy to identify as others. But maybe it’s not as hard as we think it is. It might be as simple as using what comes so naturally to us – being ourselves to be a blessing onto others.

Jenny Giplin said “we underestimate the uniqueness of our calling” Not only this, I think we underestimate how and why God made us the way we are and how necessary it is for our purpose. There are certain people that you are meant to influence purely based on your nature that God is only giving you access to.

Embrace every part of you the parts your proud of and the parts you’re not so proud of. Being yourself is so important. It is that authenticity that God wants to use to lead people back to him. Use the little you think God has given you to impact someone’s life and see where it takes you.

With love,

Temi xx

LIVE, LEARN, REFLECT, REPEAT

I don’t know your situation but I know that you can learn from it. Everything we go through is to teach us a valuable lesson to help us in our future. But sometimes we fail to grasp the lesson because we are too focused on the emotion of the situation.

Developing a growth mind-set is the best way to get the best out of life. What better way to do this than through self-reflection? See, every opportunity is a chance to grow as a person. Not only this, but it can help you to stay motivated by seeing how far you’ve come instead of focusing on not being where you want to be.

Here are some ways that you can self-reflect in a positive way:

• At the end of the month, write down everything that you went through. How you felt, what you could have done better and any goals for the next month. Each new month read about what you wrote previously and see if there have been any positive changes or any bad habits that need to change.

 

• Every Birthday, write a letter/birthday card to yourself. Be optimistic. Challenge yourself and write down any hopes and dreams. When you open it
  on your next birthday you will be surprised at how much can change in a year.

 

• Get into a habit of setting daily goals for yourself. Shift into a mind-set that sees everyday as a blessing rather than just a day that gets you closer to the weekend. If you see the day as a blessing you are more likely to try and get the most out of that day because you see it as something to be treasured. Everyday is a reminder that God still has great things planned for you.

It is possible to achieve anything you want this year. Work hard, push yourself into doing new things that scare you and constantly find ways of bettering yourself as a person.

With love,

Temi xo