Your Story Can Change at Any Moment…

No one tells you how quick the post uni depression hits. As soon as you graduate people are asking you, what are you doing next? Oh how I wish I had the answer.

Things have not gone smoothly for me I have to admit. My last two years of uni were full of obstructions that I honestly didn’t think I was even going to graduate the way things were going. Study engineering they said. You’ll find a job easily they said. I’m here to tell you that is very incorrect. As I’m writing this I am currently still on the search for one and have had a mountain of rejections that have made me question everything. I’ve questioned my my worth, the strengths I thought I had and even God.

It’s times like this that can have you feeling like there is no way out of your situation. Feeling like you can’t see light at the end of the tunnel. A sense of hopelessness and just feeling like there is no point and I should just quit while I’m ahead. But if you’re like me you’ve probably been in situations like this many of times, but nevertheless you still need this reminder:

Your Story Can Change at ANY Moment

I know it’s hard but you have to keep showing up. One of the only upsides Twitter is you can really see how someone’s circumstances can change in a moment and I’m sure they didn’t wake up thinking it would happen that day. I often refer to this image:

This image has gotten me through a lot in my life. Life often feels like a long tunnel where we’re just waiting for everything to click and make sense. There’s always that uncertainty of whether the path we’re on is the right one and whether everything will fall into place. This image reminds me why I have to keep going. I haven’t gotten to the place where everything makes sense or where I see why everything happened the way it did. But I know I will get there if I keep going.

Gods favour is in EVERY environment!

Did you know that Joseph being in prison showed Gods favour in his life? The punishment for Joseph’s alleged crime in those times was death. So the fact that he was even in prison was a sign that God was working!! To the outside world and maybe even to Joseph this it May have looked like God abandoned him but it was actually a testament to the fact God had a plan for all the trials that Jospeh went through.

Changing your perspective: you are in the best place for a miracle!!

If you read my blog posts a lot you’ll know how important changing your perspective is. When I’m in these seasons of uncertainty my favourite thing to say to myself is I’m in the best place for a miracle!! God does amazing things when it feels like there’s no way out! I find comfort in knowing that in uncertain seasons the end testimony will be sweet!

Isaiah 43:19 says: “Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”

Use this as an opportunity to strengthen your faith; increase your discipline and perseverance; and learn how to praise God when things are hard!

So hang in there! You will get through this season your moment of breakthrough is coming!

With love always,

Temi xx

“When it Feels Too Late to Start”

Firstly, I hope everyone is staying safe in light of recent events. If you’re like me you’ve probably spent more time on social media than usual and I’m sure you’ve seen this one: 

 

Let me start by saying that I don’t 100% agree with this. Yes, if you have the time to do new things do it! But not at the expense of your mental health. Pls it’s a pandemic not a contest. 

It feels like social media has been saturated with everyone showcasing their talents. Suddenly everyone is a baker! Everyone is a make-up artist. Now everyone is a personal trainer. Maybe you’ve had an idea for a while but it feels like now isn’t the time because everyone seems to be doing it? I don’t know if it’s just me who has felt intimidated to show things I’ve been working on, in fear of getting lost in the crowd?  

Some encouragement if you feel like you’ve arrived to the party late: 

It’s Not a Race.

Something I learnt from the Netflix show: “Self Made: inspired by the life of madam CJ Walker” it’s not always about who did it first, it’s about who did it best. This helps me when I start comparing myself to others. Just because I am not the first baker does not mean I can’t be the best. This does not mean I compete with others, but it means I don’t take myself out of the running purely because I started late. Or because someone else had the same idea. Produce the best quality YOU can, and let that speak for itself.

 

No One Can Do It Like You.

God has made us all unique and individual. Embrace that! it doesn’t matter if 100 people have gone before you. No one is going to do it like you. The way you think is different. The way you approach things are different. The set of people you influence is going to be different. There is a target audience that is meant for you. Take the time to develop your point of view. It’s important, it matters and that’s what will make you different from everyone else.

 

Stop Comparing Yourself!

When you’re looking up to someone, don’t skip the journey that got them there. One thing I like to do, is scroll down to someone’s first few Instagram post (especially bakers), a lot of the time you’ll see they were just like you. You can’t compare your starting point to someone’s middle or even end! Have the confidence to start and learn on the way! Consistency is key!

With love, Temi xx

CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE: THE GOD ANGLE

 

Recently I got the chance to visit Dubai. While at the top of Burj Khalifa it was amazing to see how small everything became, simply from being higher up. I couldn’t help but wonder is this how God must feel looking down at us. Things that were so large when on the ground suddenly become so small and looked so meaningless. A car that’s bigger than me suddenly looked like a toy:

Imagine how the things we describe as problems must look to God. It must be so frustrating to see us worry over such small things simply because we cannot see the perspective God is looking at us from.

Imagine if we could change our perspective from a human understanding and comprehension and move a bit higher up to a God angle.

From human view, all we can see is what is in front of us and what we have left behind. However, from God’s view he can see what we can become.

If we could see the victory that lies ahead, I am sure just like God it would be easier for us to move on from our mistakes and not to get discouraged by our imperfections because from Gods angle it has no comparison to what we can become.

We all have a tendency to go back go to a place of comfort and stagnancy. Simply because our view is restricted.  Just take the Israelites. At a point they believed it would have been easier to remain in bondage all because they could not see where God was taking them.

What if we could look beyond where we are now and just believe that God is taking us somewhere beyond our imagination.

A few things I have learned:

Our feelings do not always match the reality of the situation. If we put too much trust in our feelings to guide us, it may cause us to make irrational decisions. Taking a step back to actually analyse the situation may result in us taking a different approach.

One thing about this life is that every event, situation and period in our life produces an opportunity for us to learn and evolve. Instead of focusing on the negative side of difficult situations, change your perspective to see what you could possibly learn from it.

Change your perspective from always focusing on your limitations and start focusing on your potential.

If you’re always focusing on what you can’t do, you’ll never discover what you were born to do.

It’s time to start seeing things how God sees things.

With love always,

Temi xx

 

THE POWER of a little

As you may or may not have noticed, I haven’t posted in a while. To keep it very real, I honestly felt like I couldn’t. I felt as though I was unqualified to do so. How can I be advising others when I haven’t got my life together? This self-doubt mentally paralysed me. Until I realised the power of a little. If we keep waiting until were “perfect” or at that stage where everything feels 100% right, we will never achieve anything.

A common misconception is that before we can embark on something new we must have everything we need. But that’s just not the case. To get anywhere requires a journey and that journey starts with a step. Along that journey is where we acquire what we need on the way.

Everything that grows starts with a seed. Never judge a seed by its size. You don’t always see the potential that in the seed you are carrying, but don’t let self-doubt stop you from sowing it anyway.

Don’t let self-doubt be a barrier, let it be a reminder that you need God.

 When Moses asked God, “what makes me good enough?” God’s reply was “I will be with you” (Exodus 3).

Our strength is not in our ability but in the one who has sent us.

We cannot allow our perceived limitations stop us from even trying to get more out of this life. You already know the outcome of not believing so why not give believing a try?I’m the type of person who can be so scared of making the wrong move that I find it easier to not make any at all. And I’m sure I am not the only one.

But it’s time to get rid of the pressure of trying to design your life, when God has already designed one for you.

Your job isn’t to create your own purpose but to allow God to lead you to the one he has created.

Unlike us, he doesn’t make mistakes.

 So if things aren’t going the way you’ve planned maybe to its time to ask God what he has planned. God does not expect us to do extraordinary things on our own that would defeat the purpose of needing him.

Our big dreams can be overwhelming and appear impossible. So instead of focusing on the big dream, lets focus on having a little courage to make that first step, a little faith (approximately the size of a mustard seed) in God, and a little belief that our best is good enough because our strength lies in God.

Is there something you wanted to do but felt unqualified to be doing? Let’s get out of the “I only have” mentality and start something great today!

With love always,

Temi xx

THE SELF LOVE DECISION – WHAT IT ACTUALLY MEANS

 

This year I decided to go on a self-love journey. I wanted to really love myself finally. 

To want to love yourself and to actually love yourself are two different things, I always had the intent but didn’t really know how to execute it.

After praying to God about this one day I stood in front of the mirror – like okay God! Time to love myself! any minute now! As you can imagine I didn’t feel any different. So I knew something was wrong.

So I decided to change tactics. I read the famous Corinthians 13 and watched a few sermons. Which was when I had realised I had got it all wrong. I had completely miss understood what love was. I had reduced love to just an emotion, a tingling feeling in my body. For my whole life I had been waiting for an feeling of love. Not realising that love is way more than that.

Love is a conscious decision/demonstration, where conscious actions are made. To reduce love to just a feeling would be to massively underestimate its power, purpose and capability. It would reduce it to a temporary thing.

You can literally decide to love yourself. All this time I had been waiting for an emotion without realising that it was my actions towards myself that needed to change.

Making the decision to love yourself is easy, its the living in that decison that takes work.

Once you make that decision you need to:

1. Protect that decision: Maybe there are things you need to stop doing that make you lose confidence in that decision (for example social media) or things you need to start doing that grow your confidence in that decision. 
2. Trust that decision: Know that the love you are giving you are giving yourself isn’t what you feel at that time but what you know. 
3. Hope in that decision: Have hope that the decision you’ve made to love yourself will change your negative perspective of life to positive.
4. Persevere in that decision: In a world that tells you to compare yourself to others and makes you feel inadequate, you have to persevere and go against the norm in the decision you’ve made to know that you are good enough.

Once you fully master how to show love to yourself, you will be able to successfully reciprocate this unto other people.

I would encourage you to read 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 make notes on how you can demonstrate love to God and to yourself. Also I have attached this video by transformation church that really helped me understand these concepts too!

With love always,

Temi xx

 

 

THIS THING CALLED LOVE: Grasping God’s Love

To reduce love to just an emotion would be to completely underestimate its power, purpose and capabilities.

When we think of love we automatically think of an emotion or feeling. But if we look at the definition of an emotion and feeling:

“A strong feeling deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.”

“An emotional state or reaction”

This shows that emotions are dependent. Therefore they are temporary. They can be easily swayed or altered by circumstances, people or your environment. There is no way that these definitions can sum up the way God loves us. Think about all the times we are unfaithful and disobedient to God. Surely if love was based on this there is no way we would have any chance of salvation.

The love God has for us has to be more than this. It has to mean more than this.  It can’t be just an emotion. The emotion would not have the power or the capacity to save us no matter what we’ve gone through or done.

There are some things we need to understand about God’s love that are omitted if we just see love as an emotion:

• Nothing can separate us from God’s love

“ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

Literally nothing can separate us from God’s love. God’s love isn’t based on circumstances, there is nothing you can do that will separate you from God’s love. We need to remember this in situations. God doesn’t love like the world teaches us to love. No good thing or bad thing can make him love you anymore or any less.

There is a common misconception of how sin affects our relationship with God.

The consequence of Sin is not a reduction of God’s love but it is a reduction of God’s presence.

When you move away from God’s presence this removes you from his light. When you are away from God’s light you allow darkness in. Darkness invites shame and guilt which invites more darkness. If you understand that God still loves you no matter what, you will find it easier to come back to him because you know that you are coming back to a loving God.

• Perfect love casts out all fear:

One thing that prevents us from coming back to God is because we don’t understand his love. If we don’t know that we are coming back to a loving God, we can be afraid to come back out of fear of condemnation, being judged etc. But if we truly understand and accept God’s love in our life we will know that:

“Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.’

1 John 4:18

I’m not sure if we could ever understand the capacity of God’s love. Sometimes I wonder how God could love me so much. I’m sure I’m not the only one. But I think we need to stop questioning why we are worthy and just trust and believe God’s word that tells us we are worthy.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”

Mark 12:30-31

There must be a reason why Jesus said out of all the commandments this was the greatest one. There must be a great power in loving God.

I would encourage you to read 1 John 4. Once we understand God’s love we can begin to reciprocate this onto ourselves and onto others which is the next greatest commandments that Jesus told us about. I will be covering these later on.

If you would like to discuss any of these further, feel free to send me a message!

With love always,

Temi xx

SUNDAY CHRISTIAN SYNDROME

 

You go to church, you sing the songs but you don’t really feel a connection? Christianity is starting to feel less like a relationship and more like a religion. You dust off your bible from 10-12pm for church but then it’s back in the closet until next week. You want to do better, you really do. But there is always something that gets in the way of you spending time with God. You might be suffering from Sunday Christian Syndrome.

It’s almost as if having a relationship with God is easier when you’re going through a stormy season. It’s easier to make sure you are always praying and staying close to him when he is all you have to cling on to. But then the storm is over and you feel yourself slowly drifting away, making less time.

 “IF GOD FEELS DISTANT … ASK WHO MOVED”

 We are so quick to ask God where he is, but what we fail to realise is that God has never moved. His only concern has ever been us. He has always wanted the best for us. Nothing is able to take his mind off of us. But can we say the same? Or have concerns of money, jobs and other distractions taken your mind off of God?

‘If a tree fell in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?’

When you are far away from God, it is hard to feel the benefits of his love. It will feel as though he is not there at all when in actually fact you are just too far away to feel it!

Sometimes after passing through a storm it’s like we tell God: ‘It’s alright I can take it from here” through our actions. He becomes less of a priority and more of an after-thought. Any relationship requires effort whether things are good or bad. We need to remember that we need God in the small details of our lives just as much as during the big storms of our lives. The closer we stay to God during the calmer seasons, the easier it will be to hold on to him during the storm.

‘’I will keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand I will not be shaken.”

– Psalm 16:8-

By keeping God at your right hand you can never be shaken by the storm because he becomes your first contact for help, rather than your last resort.

Remember that there is no right way to have a relationship with God, but when your relationship with God is beginning to feel like a religion, shake the Sunday Christian Syndrome by taking a step back and analysing Gods position in your life.

With love always,

Temi xx

OCTOBER: THE MIND RESET

Hi everyone,

I hope you all had a blessed September. For me September was all about doing better. By doing so, I was able to realise how much the mind and how we think has an affect on the outcome of our behaviour. I was able to see that doing better involved changing the way I think.

I realised how many unhealthy beliefs I had, I constantly tell myself I am not good enough, smart enough even pretty enough. All of these beliefs have not allowed me to reach my full potential and I know I am not the only one.

Have you ever wondered why you believe what you do? Why do we believe the sky is blue? why do we believe red is red and 1+1 is 2? It’s because:

• We have been told by a credible source;
• The process of repetition.

Thats why my focus for October is about reprogramming the mind by challenging the negative self-beliefs I have so that they reflect what I want to achieve this year. Its going to require me to:

• Believe a credible source – Listening to what God says about me
• Use the process of repetition: Using positive affirmations everyday until I believe it

I encourage you to challenge you negative self-beliefs with these tools, and see what you end up achieving. If you decide to have the same focus as me or come up with your own do let me know!

With love always,

Temi xx

SEPTEMBER: THE MONTH OF DOING BETTER

Hey everyone,

I believe there is something so important in acknowledging new beginnings, whether that be the beginning of the day, month or year. I am a strong believer in starting how you mean to finish and failing to plan is planning to fail. Because of this, I like to acknowledge every new beginning in my life by setting goals and expectations for the new period ahead.

An idea that I adapted from my church is setting a theme/focus for each new month. I have been doing this for a while now, but I’ve decided that every month I will share my theme/focus of the month on here.

SEPTEMBER: DOING BETTER

Personally I feel that in certain areas of my life, I have not been the best version of myself nor have a strived to be. In my last post I shared how important it is to grow from mistakes and how we need to focus on doing better rather than just knowing better. So this September I really want to act on this and form new habits.

I encourage you to try setting a focus/theme for this month, and actively use September  as a chance to grow. If you decide to have the same focus as me or come up with your own do share them with me!

With love always,

Temi xx

HAVE YOU LEARNT YOUR LESSON?

Do you ever feel like sometimes life is just passing you by? Like everyone around you is moving forward, but your life is at a standstill? You know you could be better, you could do better, but it feels as though you keep hitting the same walls but in different ways?

What God made me to realise is that we are at fault and are preventing our own growth. We are consumed by the distractions of life that we don’t acknowledge the destructive behaviours that our holding us back.

The same problem will keep reoccurring in different ways until the lesson is learnt. In order for that lesson to be learnt something about your behaviour must change. Majority of us can acknowledge when we have made a mistake but how many of us can say we have actually made changes to our behaviour to prevent it from happening again?

GROWTH IS NOT KNOWING BETTER BUT DOING BETTER.

 We need to take the time to evaluate ourselves and the habits that may be preventing you from moving forward. God will not take you to the next level if you are not ready. Sometimes we are so disconnected from life spiritually that we don’t even realise that we have been in the same spot for too long.

Time is the most precious thing on this Earth. It cannot be duplicated, bought or sold. It is more valuable than money. So how are you using your time? Take a look at how you’ve spent your day for example. Have you used it to invest in yourself? Or have you spent it all on social media investing in others? As much as God is in control, we need to take responsibility for our own growth.

We need to be evolving all the time to keep moving to the next level. We need to constantly be evaluating our behaviours to see if they are preventing or promoting growth. For example, over the last two weeks I decided to dedicate 30mins each morning to reading. I realised that if I can spend 1 hour watching Love and Hip Hop that is adding nothing to my life and possibly even reducing my IQ, I can spend 30minutes reading something to impact my life positively.

If you look back over your life, and your challenges and bad experiences have not changed you in a positive way, then you run the risk of experiencing them again until something about you has changed.

If we do not engage with the lessons God is trying to teach us through the challenges of our lives, then we will never move forward.

There is so much we can do to be better yet we spend so much time on things that aren’t helping us to be better. Do not underestimate the power of making small changes each day. Every investment you make in yourself is never wasted.

As always, with love,

Temi xx