YOU ARE VALUABLE

To be valuable:

To have qualities worthy of respect, admiration, or esteem.

When you are valuable:

-Many see, but cannot attain;

– Some go above their means to attain;

– Only few can attain.

Many see, but cannot attain: When you have value you will not be attainable to everyone. When I was younger I used to quantify my worth by how much attention I got. But what I failed to realise is that when you are of high value, you become intimidating and not everyone has access to you. Attention is not a reflection of your worth. God is not going to reveal how valuable you are to everyone, so do not devalue yourself in order to become attainable to the masses.

Some go above their means to attain: These are probably the most dangerous ones. They know they do not deserve you, but when you do not know your worth they are able to get what they do not deserve. They may present themselves as worthy, but this image/lifestyle that they cannot sustain. This becomes apparent with time. Not everyone that gives you attention or shows interest deserves you.

Only a few can attain: To be able differentiate between these and the ones that go above their means takes patience and discernment from God. These people see your true worth and never make you feel less than that. They are not intimidated by your greatness but inspired by it.

You have to be careful of who you give yourself to. No matter how good their intentions may seem, not everyone deserves to know every part of you. You do not want to be left feeling robbed because you did not know your value.

This is not just focusing on relationships, but this can be applied to anything you have to offer. For example your craft, or your time etc. Don’t let people take advantage. Humans are opportunists. But think about it, if you could get something good for cheaper than it should be, why wouldn’t you?

One of the most important relationships you will ever have is the one you have with yourself however this is one of the most neglected. I urge you to take the time necessary to really begin to appreciate yourself and understand that you are valuable.

Know that you are beautiful in spite of what the world says.

Know that you are wonderfully and fearfully made.

Know that God has said that you are valuable, it is up to you whether you choose to accept it.

ARE YOU WILLING TO GIVE UP THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS – FOR THE MAN OF GOD’S PLAN?

The man of our dreams is perfect and can do no wrong and has been idolised in our mind. Whereas the man of God’s plan lacks perfection, but is perfect in purpose.

The man of our dreams has been created by us. It is not a mystery why women upon entering relationships find themselves trying to mould and change the person they are with.

Are you too focused on your fantasy that you are ignoring what God has planned for you?

This is not to say that you shouldn’t have standards, but are your standards based on vanity or on God’s guidelines?

The man of your dreams is everything you want whereas the man of Gods plan is everything you need.

When you focus on the man of your dreams you look for what you want rather than what you need. The things that used to be important to YOU now seem so far away. At some point in your life you will experience a time where someone is presented to you that seems so right that it almost feels cruel for them not to have been sent by God.

One of life’s greatest tests is walking away from something you want because you know it’s not what you need.

Sometimes it’s not obvious as the person may tick all the superficial and skin deep boxes and if life was just about getting Instagram likes then this would be enough. But we have to think deeper than that. We have to think long-term. Are you on the same page spiritually? Do they see your weaknesses and build you up? Are they a partner in purpose?

When we shift our focus from things that we need to the things that we want we start making decisions based on emotions.

It’s hard to walk away from seeing everything you want in the flesh because we cannot see beyond what is in front of us. The fear of the unknown begins to strike. What if they are the one? What if I’m making a mistake? I know the bible says this isn’t right but then why would God bring them into my life?

You have to think of the costs of your compromises. Making a compromise is like buying something with a credit card. They allow you to enjoy now but sooner or later you have to pay up. Often, the paying up later hurts more as it leads to regrets and resentment.

God has designed our lives so that we can only take one day at a time. So it’s hard to have faith in what is to come. But we have to remember that God has made a person specifically for us. You won’t have to make costly compromises for this person, as they were made to match you perfectly.

So are you going to give up the man/woman of your dreams for the man/woman of Gods plan?

With love always,

Temi xx

IS GOD SILENT? OR ARE YOU NOT MOVING?

Recently I have been going through a season of feeling unmotivated and just unsatisfied with life. I remember asking God to get me out of it but I didn’t hear anything back from him. Because of this I found myself pulling further away from God and not dedicating as much time as used to for him.

It’s so easy to feel like God is silent in our lives. God is the perfect thing to use as a scapegoat when things aren’t going right.

It wasn’t until I made the effort to go to church last Sunday that I felt a recharge. That’s when I realised the problem was me.

There are periods in our lives where we feel stagnant and unmotivated. It can feel as though we are asking God for help but it is as if our prayers have been ignored.

When this happens you need to realise that it is time to move. It is time to make some sort of change in your life; as your current lifestyle and habits cannot accommodate the next stage of God’s plan for your life.

God isn’t silent he just needs you to meet him halfway. He is more than capable of doing what you asked for, he just requires effort from you. God wants to invest in you but he needs a business plan. He wants to see commitment and drive.

God doesn’t call the able he calls the available. He takes the little we have and multiplies it. A child reaches out when they want to be picked up ad held. God is waiting for us to reach out so he can direct us to our next level.

“In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”

James 2:17 (NIV)

We often are waiting for God to do something supernatural and to watch him physically move mountains to show and prove himself. But sometimes it is us that need to do the moving. We need to take the first step. God has laid promises of blessings and prosperity on us, but we can’t have access to this until we move. When we ask God for things he gives us faith in his abilities. But once we receive this faith it is time for us to move. If we don’t actually take a step and move it is as if we don’t have him at all. Yes, God told you he will do It,  just like he told Joshua the wall of Jericho will fall. But in order for this to be fulfilled Joshua had to march. Yes, David had been empowered to defeat Goliath but in order for this to be fufilled he had to move and physically throw the rock. God takes a simple move and transforms it into something greater.

God is the ‘extra’ and we are the ‘ordinary’. If you want to see the extraordinary in your life you have to do your part.

As always,

With love Temi xx

 

THE PURPOSE BEHIND YOUR PERSONALITY

At my local connect group (a meeting with my church family) we started talking about what are some things that we may miss in ourselves that others may see. It was a beautiful experience that made me realise how subtle the holy spirit can work in us. Recently I have been going through a phase where I had begun to question Gods presence in my life and compare myself to those who had a greater spiritual experiences such as speaking in tongues.

But at connect I realised God likes to work subtly sometimes. Just because you’re not casting out demons, speaking in tongues or walking on water does not mean God is not using you. God is still working through you. There is a purpose to our personality that God wants to use.

It could be as subtle as your gentle spirit, your hospitality, your strength that helped you overcome a struggle.

Often, we are too busy paying to attention to other people looking after their gardens that we don’t notice the seed God has placed in our hands. We are always looking for more rather than appreciating what God has already given us.

We need to trust our walk with God and be more sensitive to our environment and even our personality traits. Reflect on the reasons why you went through what you did how this made you as a person, look at what you are passionate about. These are all things that others could learn from.

We forget that God can use even our personality to change people’s life. Someone needs what you have to offer. For example, your caring nature may seem insignificant to you but it’s that same nature that could potentially be a light in someone’s life who really needs it.

It can be hard trying to discover our purpose, as some are not as easy to identify as others. But maybe it’s not as hard as we think it is. It might be as simple as using what comes so naturally to us – being ourselves to be a blessing onto others.

Jenny Giplin said “we underestimate the uniqueness of our calling” Not only this, I think we underestimate how and why God made us the way we are and how necessary it is for our purpose. There are certain people that you are meant to influence purely based on your nature that God is only giving you access to.

Embrace every part of you the parts your proud of and the parts you’re not so proud of. Being yourself is so important. It is that authenticity that God wants to use to lead people back to him. Use the little you think God has given you to impact someone’s life and see where it takes you.

With love,

Temi xx

What Does it Mean To Be Enough?

Recently I’ve been struggling with being enough. Feeling as though I’m not pretty enough to not wear make-up, not smart enough and feeling like I have not lost enough weight. These thoughts began to consume me and take over. It got me thinking, what is this ‘enough’ that I am actually trying to get to? What does it actually mean to be enough? What will it feel like to actually get to enough? I remember saying to myself that once I lost 50 pounds I would start to see myself differently and feel happy within myself. But once I got there and the way I saw myself had not changed it began to make me question aiming to be enough. Does ‘enough’ actually exisit? Is there a stage in life where I would be completely happy and feel as though nothing needs improvement?

ENOUGH:

• As much or as many required
• To the required degree or extent

Feeling like you are not enough causes you to look outside for help to increase your value, however , this gives a false sense of accomplishment as in reality it is actually decreasing our value. For example, I began to use make-up as a mask to hide behind, thinking that it was making me better and increasing my worth when it was actually making me feel worse.

When in the mind-set of trying to be enough it means we are susceptible to seeking validation from others. We will always use the opinion of others to validate ourselves to feel enough. So maybe one day we do feel enough we can quickly be disheartened by others to feel as though we are not enough. As “enough” is not a fixed value. It is subject to change. It is based on emotions not facts and its relative. So to base our worth on ‘enough’ is risky as anything emotion based is unreliable.

So maybe we need to change our approach to the way we think. Centring our lives around chasing ‘enough’ will always leave us feeling inadequate as we are measuring ourselves up against a standard that doesn’t even exist. For example,saying: “I’m not pretty enough.” For you to have decided this,  means that you have used a standard to measure yourself up against. But who is to say that standard is right? Who is to say there is only one standard of beauty? Who is to say there is one standard of measuring intelligence? Who is to say there is one standard of measuring success?

The subtle beauty of life is that it is all about choices. We knowingly and unknowingly make them. Some negative choices have become habits so they no longer feel like a choice. But habits can be broken and new ones can be made, it just requires us to make a choice to. It is up to you to decide whether to live up to societies unrealistic measures of being enough, or to create your own.

With love,

Temi xx

DON’T THINK, JUST DO IT

What if those dreams you have aren’t just meant for when you’re sleeping? What if those passions you have are for a reason? What if that ‘silly’ idea that came into your mind could impact a generation?

Society tries to put us in a box, it tries to make us all the same. It tries to make us small minded and it tries to make us ‘realistic’. As a result, the thought of greatness begins to scare us. In the words of Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

It is our potential for greatness that overwhelms us. But when we have been taught all our lives to be realistic, to set ‘sensible’ goals, that people who have done great things are ‘lucky’ why wouldn’t the thought of us being just as great scare us?

The longer we ponder, the more we come up with reasons not to get started.

Sometimes life requires us to take a leap of faith without thinking of the consequences and just know that someway somehow, everything will work out.

How many times have you convinced yourself not to do something? It’s time for a new strategy. Instead of talking yourself out of it talk yourself into it.

If you think about majority of the role models and people we aspire to be like, they all had the same starting point as us. They all had what seemed like a silly idea or a dream that seemed to big to carry.

Don’t think, Just do it.

Don’t waste your time thinking about everything that could go wrong. Don’t wait for a convenient time to start (there will never be one). Don’t worry about where you will get the money (especially when there is a God that supplies all of your needs). If something is meant for you, then everything will fall into place. Every hardship will lead to a greater blessing.

There will always be a reason why you shouldn’t do something. There will always be a reason why you could fail.

Dreams are not meant to be realistic. They’re not meant to be sensible. They don’t even need to make sense. They are meant to be bigger than you.

Don’t think, just do it!

With love,

Temi xx

WHAT ARE YOU THIRSTY FOR?

If you look to the world to find yourself, you will forever be lost. We tend to look for solutions in the wrong places, and then wonder why we don’t get the answers we desire. In John 17:16 Jesus tells us that we are not of the world. So, it is impossible to find whatever answers you are looking for in the world.

The world can only promise us temporary happiness, temporary peace and temporary pleasures. There is more to life than what this world can offer us.

So, what are you thirsty for? Is it love? Are you trapped in an endless cycle of giving your heart to people only for it to get broken time and time again? Are you lost? Do you desire purpose for your life or are you trying to understand where life is trying to take you? Are you sad? Are you looking for happiness that will never be taken away from you?

“Whoever drinks from the water I give them, shall never be thirsty again.”

John 4:14

We need to look within ourselves, where Jesus is, to find what we are looking for. Jesus can fill every hole; He can light up every dark space with his light. All we have to do is let him in. Let him know what you’re struggling with. Let him know what’s missing in your life. Let him know what you are thirsty for. The blessings that God gives us is something that no one can take away from us. The beauty of Jesus is that he takes the little we have to give whether that be hurt, shame even guilt and turns it into something great.

If you have any questions, need any advice or just someone to talk to, feel free to email me at withlovetemi@gmail.com

With love,

Temi xx

SEE THE BEAUTY IN YOUR IMPERFECTIONS

See the beauty in your imperfections. Embrace everything that makes you different. Embrace your past. Embrace your mistakes.

If you keep measuring yourself against the world’s standard you will always come up short.

Why would God waste his time creating something useless? If he can give trees purpose, if he can give insects purpose, why would he not give you one? Do not devalue yourself because of a person’s inability to see your greatness. Not everyone is going to see how great you are and quite frankly, not everyone deserves to. Do not give people the power to design and mould your life based on worldly standards that are impossible to achieve.

It’s time for you to take action. Take control of your life. Take control of your happiness. Life is full of choices. You have a choice of what you accept in your life. Surround yourself with people who see the best in you, not those that keep you trapped in your past. Your only concern should be making today better than yesterday. Do not be a slave to your past. We are only able to live one day at a time – not the past, not the future but the present. Acknowledge your past, be conscious about your future by using what you can control which is the present. Everyday provides new opportunities to be blessed and be a blessing.

“You are not obliged to be the person you were five minutes ago”

 Yes, your past led you to where you are today, but it does not have to define you. You get to decide what you accept or reject in your life.

With love,

Temi xx

LIVE, LEARN, REFLECT, REPEAT

I don’t know your situation but I know that you can learn from it. Everything we go through is to teach us a valuable lesson to help us in our future. But sometimes we fail to grasp the lesson because we are too focused on the emotion of the situation.

Developing a growth mind-set is the best way to get the best out of life. What better way to do this than through self-reflection? See, every opportunity is a chance to grow as a person. Not only this, but it can help you to stay motivated by seeing how far you’ve come instead of focusing on not being where you want to be.

Here are some ways that you can self-reflect in a positive way:

• At the end of the month, write down everything that you went through. How you felt, what you could have done better and any goals for the next month. Each new month read about what you wrote previously and see if there have been any positive changes or any bad habits that need to change.

 

• Every Birthday, write a letter/birthday card to yourself. Be optimistic. Challenge yourself and write down any hopes and dreams. When you open it
  on your next birthday you will be surprised at how much can change in a year.

 

• Get into a habit of setting daily goals for yourself. Shift into a mind-set that sees everyday as a blessing rather than just a day that gets you closer to the weekend. If you see the day as a blessing you are more likely to try and get the most out of that day because you see it as something to be treasured. Everyday is a reminder that God still has great things planned for you.

It is possible to achieve anything you want this year. Work hard, push yourself into doing new things that scare you and constantly find ways of bettering yourself as a person.

With love,

Temi xo

50 POUNDS AND COUNTING.. HOW I GOT HERE

Firstly, I would like to thank you for reading. It took a lot of courage to put this out there but if I can help just one person then it will be worth it.

I have been overweight for pretty much my whole life. When I was born I was 10 pounds!  Coming from an African background these people are not afraid to tell you how it is! So I always knew I was bigger. When I would be told I couldn’t have sweets or chocolate because I was fat even though my brother was allowed to it would cause me to indulge in these things in secret and then subconsciously tell myself that I hadn’t eaten a lot because it had been done in secret. I remember scoffing down several biscuits when no one was in the kitchen and then when my sister was born and I had the perfect person to blame when ¾ of the packet was gone in a day (sorry Simi).

Then secondary school came and I had more control over what I could eat. For a while I had no concept of how eating so much could negatively affect me. The sad thing is it wasn’t until I had lost weight that I actually realised how much I actually ate. I had basically been on a diet for most of my life and I started going to the gym at a young age but I was still overweight? So something wasn’t adding up. During year 11 I gained a significant amount of weight (right before prom, tragic). This happened because I would spend all
day in the library and eat so much and be barely be moving around and before I knew it I was wearing a size 20 dress and so miserable. Luckily that summer I did NCS the challenge and I managed to lose most of that weight. Unfortunately, I did not learn my lesson and I found myself in old habits and my old ways of ‘dieting’ which just led to me eating more and more. I couldn’t resist the waffles at lunchtimes and a warm chicken and bacon baguette with lots of mayo, washed down with a cheeky Fanta. Of course I had to finish off my friends’ meals too because who likes to waste food? The bus is coming in 5mins? I can’t wait that long let me get a pack of 4 large Sainsbury’s chocolate chip shortbread for £1 and eat all of them at once. Of course I had to get a cookie with my subway after school, but why get one when you can get two? Well if you get two then you have to get 3. But somehow I still managed to convince myself that the amount I was eating was normal.

So what caused a change? It was February 4^th 2016 and I went to the gym and thought I might as well weigh myself. The last time I had weighed myself I was around 220 pounds. Although I was not happy with that weight, I had come to terms with it and didn’t think I would get much bigger. So to see 230 pounds on the scale scared the life out of me I looked in the mirror and for the first time in months could see how much weight I had actually gained and it scared me. I was finally tired. I realised something had to change like how could a whole 5’5 me weigh more than grown 6 foot men with muscles?! Like my facial features were literally lost in the fat of my face. I realised I needed to not be on a diet anymore and completely change how I look at food. I watched videos on videos to learn how to live a healthy lifestyle. I switched from my mediocre gym sessions to exercising 4-5 times a week using fitness blender on YouTube.

If I’ve learnt anything it’s that weight loss is more of a mental challenge than a physical challenge. It takes so much mental strength. You have to be mentally ready to deal with the challenge of weight loss because it is not easy. People underestimate how much food can become an addiction and how hard it is to break habits that have stuck with you for years. But with prayer, determination and patience I managed to get this far and I’m still going.

If you are struggling with weight loss, know that you’re not alone. In fact, I still struggle. I genuinely never thought I would ever get to this point and know that if I can do it you can too! Sometimes I look in the mirror and I don’t even recognise myself!

If you would like to know exactly what I did or have any questions, please please email me: withlovetemi@gmail.com I would be more than happy to answer any questions or write another post about it.

With love,

Temi xo