NO MORE WAITING FOR MR/MRS RIGHT…

You are not an afterthought. You are not there to serve someone as it pleases them. You are not there for when someone gets bored.

Why do we allow ourselves to be treated as such?

It is not worth losing part of yourself to accommodate someone else. You do not need to shrink back, so that someone else can fit. They can never complete you. Your DNA is not theirs. They can never fill up where you have lost yourself because they are not you.

And how many times have you said “One day I’ll find someone that treats me better”

Let’s take back control.

It’s not about waiting for someone to treat you better. Let’s stop relying on others to validate ourselves. We are always shifting our worth from one person’s opinion to the next. We need to stop giving other people the power to judge the way they think we should be treated but how you believe you should be treated. Do not believe you have to accept everything you are offered.

Instead of waiting for Mr/Mrs right to show us how to be treated; Let’s start focusing on how we are treating ourselves. We need to start setting new standards in our lives. Not just in relationships but in every aspect of our lives.

If you don’t give yourself the best you can’t expect anyone to else simply because you don’t know how it feels to be given the best. if we only accept the best from ourselves FIRST, it will be harder to accept anything less from others. This might be working out because you deserve to have the best body you can get. Putting in effort in your education because you deserve the best grade. It will be very hard to accept just anyone into your life when you uphold yourself to a high standard.

It’s so easy to settle when we meet a person, we think “well I don’t know when the next person will come along’. Low self-worth allows us to believe that we need to take what we can get. But regardless of  whether or not someone comes into your life, it’s important that you feel secure enough within yourself because you know how to give yourself the best. A person should never be a competition but only ever be an addition to your life.

It’s time to evaluate. Have you been giving yourself the best? Is this reflecting in your past and present relationships?

With love always

Temi xx

 

ARE YOU WILLING TO GIVE UP THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS – FOR THE MAN OF GOD’S PLAN?

The man of our dreams is perfect and can do no wrong and has been idolised in our mind. Whereas the man of God’s plan lacks perfection, but is perfect in purpose.

The man of our dreams has been created by us. It is not a mystery why women upon entering relationships find themselves trying to mould and change the person they are with.

Are you too focused on your fantasy that you are ignoring what God has planned for you?

This is not to say that you shouldn’t have standards, but are your standards based on vanity or on God’s guidelines?

The man of your dreams is everything you want whereas the man of Gods plan is everything you need.

When you focus on the man of your dreams you look for what you want rather than what you need. The things that used to be important to YOU now seem so far away. At some point in your life you will experience a time where someone is presented to you that seems so right that it almost feels cruel for them not to have been sent by God.

One of life’s greatest tests is walking away from something you want because you know it’s not what you need.

Sometimes it’s not obvious as the person may tick all the superficial and skin deep boxes and if life was just about getting Instagram likes then this would be enough. But we have to think deeper than that. We have to think long-term. Are you on the same page spiritually? Do they see your weaknesses and build you up? Are they a partner in purpose?

When we shift our focus from things that we need to the things that we want we start making decisions based on emotions.

It’s hard to walk away from seeing everything you want in the flesh because we cannot see beyond what is in front of us. The fear of the unknown begins to strike. What if they are the one? What if I’m making a mistake? I know the bible says this isn’t right but then why would God bring them into my life?

You have to think of the costs of your compromises. Making a compromise is like buying something with a credit card. They allow you to enjoy now but sooner or later you have to pay up. Often, the paying up later hurts more as it leads to regrets and resentment.

God has designed our lives so that we can only take one day at a time. So it’s hard to have faith in what is to come. But we have to remember that God has made a person specifically for us. You won’t have to make costly compromises for this person, as they were made to match you perfectly.

So are you going to give up the man/woman of your dreams for the man/woman of Gods plan?

With love always,

Temi xx